“The blizzard of the world has crossed the threshold and overturned the order of the soul” - Leonard Cohen · in yesterday’s epistle i shared a pool hall story from my youth and when i retired to sample the youtube fare for “free movies” i elected a Whoopie Goldberg film “Kiss Shot.” I admire Whoopie for her independence and settled in to find it was about her using super poolroom skills at “nine-ball” to make her single-mother balloon payment. What are the odds that these two topics would intersect on the same day¿ i ask because i’ve managed data bases and have a working knowledge of the reach digital technicians had at one point in history, but can only guess at their “clickbait” skills today. Is it possible for today’s AI monstrosity to read an unpublished text file on my PC and correlate it to public domain fare regarding my viewing preferences¿ Or is it synchronicity of a more mystical nature that i could have engendered writing from my heart into the aether, a however unpublished aether akin to how Reiki is supposed to mend bodies across the metaphysical spectrum minus physical contact? I D K
I do know that the gazillions of bucks the ruling class is indebted to those whose wealth it actually is, can buy a whole lot of friendship in the context of today’s “i wanna climb to the top of the heap” ethos. Trying to figure that shit out is a fool’s errand of gargantuan proportion. Nor is it particularly interesting, i mean who gives a fuck if baldbezos is so sick that he would pay people to peer into private space to satisfy some _______fill in the blank kinky fetish. However just so we’re clear, that is not original thinking on my part, Leonard Cohen stipulated the conditions with his lines, “The rich have got their channels in the bedrooms of the poor, And there’s a mighty judgement coming, but i might be wrong. Ya’ see you hear these funny voices in the Tower of Song.” I can only marvel at the odds of such an occurrence; sort of like having conscious awareness of an animation of the DNA that is uniquely my own at a time in the history of our kind when we may cease our multi-million year evolution for no better reason than greed - go figure ·
I’d rather link to the polar opposite of that consideration and posit to you who can read and suss at the same time; what would you do differently if you possessed the mythical magic wand - which BTW you do possess · this is not an academic question, but one i humbly suggest you explore post haste, at a time when even that expression borders on the arcane. Who would fuck with the post office - who does that kind of shit, and why do i feel like i’m the only one who cares? That is “angry making” language designed to illicit guilt for nothing you’ve done, but for what i haven’t done. It is similar to the gazillions of emails we each receive because these motherfuckers can’t or won’t think of anything better to spend the political slush funds on than the digital version of “junk mail.” It doesn’t have to be this way, i invariably feel better when i veer from my natural state of castigation, and explore how to convey to anyone listening how much i love them and appreciate their unique contribution to the skein of life that has become so fragile through no fault of our own.
It is for that reason i veer where possible from pointing the finger - the “you fuck” finger · which while providing a momentary feeling of having accomplished something, ultimately is nothing better than projecting the most destructive aspects of my interesting upbringing. I do not want to condemn you; i want to encourage you to see the remarkable spirit that you are. When you hear my “you fuck” voice, that is simply an echo from out of the caverns of my soul of an energy that tried to find residence but somehow was simply passed back out into the universe, hopefully somewhat attenuated by the loving language i try to find from my beaten-to-fuck existence. I came out of the womb folded like a "franks breech" pancake to a find a family of pretty people who had much worse problems than my dual-cyclops reality. Can you imagine, i feel guilty for not having the character required to comfort siblings who refuse me fb friendship¿ i am so confused?
In the end, it is not they who refused me, but i who refused them - it is an intractable however inaccurate sense of justice i adhere to · it is my monster ego which sees the pain they experience about my existence but which does not tender them gentle succor such that they can act on what i know is their intrinsic love. To blame them for my want is the equivalent of saying D.J._rump is at fault for the extermination of our species - he is not that powerful and his ideas carry no weight that i don’t give to him. He is more vulnerable than not to my love, my feeling of compassion for the suffering he cannot contain but acts on with such mindless fury to no avail; the only change he has accomplished, to my limited thinking, is to amplify a feature of our world that seems to be the only thing his pain can recognize - hate · i don’t like hate, so i basically do as any mindful parent might when faced with intractable unconscious demands of little use or consequence and point in the other direction: Oh Look ! is that a purple giraffe ¿!! Oh Girl, i don’t like purple giraffes; i LOVE purple giraffes - do you LOVE purple giraffes too ?!!!
jts 31/08/2020
http://stoanartst.blogspot.com
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