What a peculiar fantasy this is - that by writing words into a xptr screen there could be alteration in what seems to be an inexorable conclusion to our species · I like it, almost as much as i enjoy my morning bicycle rides. That change is the only constant, is inarguable; though like the donkey to discipline i was raised to be, i resist each fluctuation in my daily routine unless it has been guided by some accompanying thought or new awareness of an external constant. I have come to realize that most of my complaints about the behavior of others is almost certainly a result of some new understanding about my own thinking - exclusively a criticism of myself and my own behaviors that gains traction in my external awareness of others. That in and of itself is a dicey proposition for a human so keenly trained to serve his parents and mind his precarious place in a constellation of superheated egos - not terribly different than the avatar world zuké and company have contrived for us all.
The difference being, when a sibling puts their hand in my pocket to steal, i have a pretty good idea, what is theirs and what is mine - stealing from family is a distinguishable cowardice · stealing using a “keystroke” is harder to be aware of. Yesterday i spent too much time searching for a quote that, given a broader return from googol would have saved me much time, but which also alerted me to how much it is in the corporate interest to obscure information from a restive population when trying to propagate a world-view that a dozen human beings remain unmolested while they use purloined gazillion$ to accomplish what every tyrant from the dawn of history has tried - subordination of the human spirit. Anyone who does not accept that the digital tycoons of today are in complete concurrence with the relentless and entirely complicit anointing of a “tyranny” as a solution to late stage capitalism is too stupid for me to address.
The ants - small vicious little fuckers left pus marks up and down my hands and wrists when i dared interrupt their rout of my paper-bagged sunflower seeds and the accompanying peanut flavored spoon. I refuse to call down the petroleum based poison gods and paid for it with the pustules from their venomous bites - they do not like black pepper and i welcomed retrieving my about-to-be-devoured vegetable banh mi from their clutches. It is unfortunate that my kitchen is liberally peppered with crushed black pepper, but a good thing for the kind neighbor lady who i hope feels amply compensated for rinsing my floor in the weird-wired villa whose lamps glow from inexplicably inept cross-wiring to ground. I am no electrical engineer anymore than i am a mathematician, but i have been on enough jobs sites to recognize bullshit when i see it.
200,000 deaths in the land i was born to, and still there is some question that the nazi billionaire will be selected, not elected and/or refuse to cede office, or that the corporate handlers will simply post affirmative prompts on the screens of those minds they have determined through data mining are within their control - are we having fun yet¿? · We as a species are now so normalized to the constant drumbeat of fear that we no longer recognize our natural state of ease. We must pay professional “gig-economy” geeks to teach us how to breathe, how to fuck, how to eat - i refuse, and for that reluctance, i remain on the outside of every conventional environment i approach · such is happiness in the post 2020 era. Lucky me, i wouldn’t recognize 20/20 vision if it landed in my lap and gave me head into the next century.
What i do recognize, is gratuitous cruelty in the service of _____fill in the blank. I have been subjected to bullies from the time of my initial socialization and those with normal vision pointing their stubby little fingers in my face ridiculing my “crossed-eyes.” Again, lucky me, for i have had all of the rest of my life to search for explanations for such ignorant behavior, so that as i approach my demise i no longer need acclimate to the stupidity of others, but rather feel my way through the hoards watching how those of power behave toward others. Bullies are easy to recognize because they are big and physically imposing, but often dense and short on insight - easily dismembered. The challenge remains for how to inoculate the frightened and oppressed amongst us to a point where they once again accept their rightful power on the planet and exert their hard-won wisdom on behalf of all other people suffering from the stupidity of a handful of _____fill in the blank.
jts 25/09/2020
http://stoanartst.blogspot.com
reprinted with permission - all rights reserved
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