Pema Chodron rightly describes hate as covering fear, and that behind the fear is a soft core of humanity within each of us that is unquenchable. Lao Tzu said similarly that each individual contains a kernel of goodness and it is our collective responsibility to uncover and nurture that kernel in all we meet. The challenge is to fulfill that wisdom within ourselves before we succumb to the honest desire to help others. I miss that vulnerable place in myself that used to be so accessible and invulnerable to what Leonard Cohen described about when the “blizzard of the world has crossed the threshold and overturned the order of the soul.” It is i who determines my fate - not the purveyors of style or the gatekeepers of “attention.” You’d do your soul well to reverse your click-bait mentality for larger game than the lemmings your corporate overlords have deemed worthy of you fierce and hungry skill.
I was young once and there was no wound that could lay me low, save that of love - she was as she is · just waiting for the right moment to render me helpless. Why it is that women need for men to be infants to work their magic, i do not understand; but clearly all the force that is leaking from my once formidable frame is useless in the struggle i would have hoped we could have engaged in together. Instead i find “her” yoked to Amazonian fantasies of value and worth based on a materialism she has been shamefully seduced to with assurances that the more you own - the safer will be your children · much like the bigger his muscles the safer will be your pussy. When will we once again work as a well-ordered team, me slitting its throat, while you restrain its weakening limbs? I don’t see this time coming soon enough to save our species, but i comfort myself for having tried.
My mother couldn’t destroy me, so she ordered her children to perceive me as “ugly” in a family of “beauty.” What she discounted, ma - was that as one of her progeny however deformed or “odd” i held her well-being close to my heart and have trained myself to love her hatred of me, because it was good for her. This does not make me a saint - simply practical, for when one is born to find she who you were born to holds hatred for this act the only practical avenue available is to help. Nearly 7 billion people on the planet earth are faced with this same dialectic - they did not ask to be born, yet from the moment of their inception they have been hounded, and herded and attacked for little more reason than breathing air - that is not right.
I would change the conditions of existence for all if i could, i cannot - i have tried. The only person i have control over is myself and there are damn few who give a flying fuck about how it is going for me. It would take me a number of lifetimes to explain why something so obvious has taken so long to manifest - let us remain with first things first · These are the “Extinction Chronicles” which means you are reading for clues about what destruction is taking place that will materially affect you, or what steps you can take to protect those you love and those you hope to love from what you can see with your own native intelligence about what is coming down the “pike.” It ain’t pretty, but we as a species have faced worse. The “64$ question” is how much game do you have on the ball, how determined are you to remain free and independent, and how deeply can you see into the “bullshit” that is propagated as development, or distinguish what is of your own reasoning vs what you are told?
Don’t whine to me about complexities; i live in a country my birth nation tried to destroy, and 89% or so of the population i meet on a daily basis, sees me as “white devil” aged invader or opportunistic predator looking for profits to skim off the top. Meanwhile, the reality is i am a tired old man, not angry, not vengeful, without a friend looking for some quiet corner of the world to die peacefully murmuring nonsense to all save those who would like to create a loving world for any who follow however how few that number might be because of reckless stupidity by “responsible” members of a mythical economy designed to aid a “one” rather than a “one” x 1,00o,ooo,ooo . go figure ¿
jts 26/06/2020
http://stoanartst.blogspot.com
reprinted with permission - all rights reserved
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