It is the last day of my old house and i have already managed to antagonize the new hosts, and i’m not sure exactly how. When i moved into the last house it was stocked with multiples of everything, including the rats in the attic, and here there is no pot, no plate, no toilet paper - so i asked, forgive me if i eschew aluminum. I come from an Alzheimer’s family whether it is an accurate diagnoses or not, we are certainly demented. My friend the carpenter quoted me 1.2 million dong when i asked for 2 shelves; i was only more surprised after taking possession of the first and asking for the 2nd to be modified to 3 equal spaces instead of the original 2 - “how much would that cost”, 1.5 million dong, but when i tried to settle up, it turns out we’d been talking apples and oranges, or “for each” instead of together.
You could almost call that the story of my life if you were a creative person looking to distill these 65 weird years of mine into a paragraph, and you might even be more successful than this quixotic quest for meaning in a meaningless age using nothing more than words and unrelenting ownership of my fuckups as well as my attributes to create focus about a worldwide calamity that can only be resolved by much larger percentage of the population working in concert than the time sucking occupation of creating content for the digital wizards that you didn’t even realize you’d been hired to do - gratis. Anymore, you’re not really considered an employee, rather an eternal intern just outside of the googol/facefuck/apphole campus.
Well i just watched my 1st month deposit evaporate like spit on a hot sidewalk - sort of like your life savings if you contract Covid-19 in the oh-so-much-Gr8r U.S. of Corporate ‘merica. What makes no sense is how much of this havoc is adjustable. We have all the computing power to resolve most every situation on the planet that jeopardizes life or property, so it makes no sense that all these servers are serving nothing more than tracking how to take every last dime from every last person - no sense at all · not even for the rational billionaires, however much of an oxymoron that expression is. And wisdom really does remain a viable alternative, if for no other reason than that the most high holy reasoning i’ve heard yet is to be kind to yourself in order to be kind to others.
I couldn’t secure a skillet in the move so that will probably come out of the last of my deposit - deposit for a property i probably spent out of pocket no less than 2 million dong improving and leaving 500k dong on the table, but the nouveau riche landlord couldn’t see clear to sell me the mismatched skillet and lid because he was so blinded by the fantasy that i kept a mythical extra set of keys, which apparently i had secreted away in order to sneak back in and still the big screen TV that was only utilized when the deeply troubled neighbor nephew took advantage of the one hot night in my tenancy that i left the door adjar, and sort of like “counting coup” left the TV ablazing in the dead of night - that or one of the rat mischief was a refugee from Ben’s herd and turned on the set just to demonstrate to me who’s running the show - i d k ·
No matter how many times i ride the Cua Dai, An Bang, Cua Dai circle i ain’t getting any younger and there ain’t fuck all i can do about it. However vis-a-vis what Leonard Cohen described as the “preliminaries” it pays to get exercise, to stay hydrated, to smoke less and love more. Anger is indeed poison that corrodes any path you walk, while simultaneously good cheer insulates better than styrofoam on a hot day, and doesn’t poison the environment, however much confusion it causes the haters in the audience. The hardest truth to swallow is how much i fit that profile of someone who irrationally holds to a conviction that has no merit and was largely formulated and a time long since past - it dumbfounds me to know i cannot excoriate that part of my being that waged war for so long that peace of heart seems like an affectation of one of those praying to “ET”, but i have to laugh in closing to know that i am in fact “E-something” to some creature somewhere gazing into the ______fill in the blank just like you and me.
jts 25/07/2020
http://stoanartst.blogspot.com
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