For many reasons i have been forced to face my personal proclivities for substance abuse - from an early age onward. The bad news is i have them; the good news is moderation is as legitimate an ambition as greed, and possibly a damn sight more beneficial over the haul. For example, while vegetarianism is more efficient per hectare ·: per gram of protein - even the Dalai Lama - OM · cops to a bite of flesh for medicinal purposes. I used the word Omnism in a welcomed and searching conversation today with a man, his daughter and his 2nd wife, not her mother to try and explain my openness to any idea or belief that bears fruit. In the cloistered hot-house environment where this unique triumvirate has gained traction - i welcomed the opened exchange as a portent of hope in what i’ve thus far found to be a rigid, doctrinaire environment of unnecessarily protected positions - any projections found herein are certainly my own ·
I want to die in love, surrounded by a contingent of supported and happy campers confident about their future, not because of anything i have brought to the equation, but because of a mutually relentless quest into the inner turmoil of finding peace within oneself in a world of digital goons that has literally stolen calm from the soul of our species. Don’t believe me look at your own commentary and declare openly and forthrightly how much is “reaction” and how much is keystroke “action” based on the most quiet and profound realizations and that you are prompted by nothing more than personal reflection and profound gratitude for each breath you take - go ahead · this is not a test and i could give a fuck how you respond.
I want to love a gentle companion and support her most erotic, poetic and philosophical ambitions that she has courage enough to share with me. Just now the rain is surging almost like the voices around me declaring you are “old, your time has past and there is nothing left to you to savor.” This rain will pass because that is the nature of our spherical atmosphere, however sorely taxed by gluttonous entrepreneurs declaring that the solution to their poverty lies in the acquisition of your family’s future - an ignorant and short sided assertion. The only way forward for our species is through what Leonard Cohen and Frank Scott described in the “Villanelle for our Time” - 'a bitter searching of the heart.' The conversation i alluded to earlier with father and daughter included references to Ayn Rand and her premise of “survival of the fittest.”
Fit for what ¿? occupation of a desiccated, ionized planet unable to support life having extinguished ____fill in the blank of native species to enable a coterie of effete trophy hunters confusing virile with virulence and murdering cogent creatures using arms no different than the Neo Liberal weapon of choice - drones · Soldiers too frightened of their own culpability anymore to look into the eyes of their supposed enemies whose only offense was to be born to a faith different than that of those who attack? These are not warriors but slave murderers on the leash of a master they dare not face - their own mortal souls. Buy back your freedom - reason your way from genocide at the behest of a corporate overlord lacking gonads to even represent their contempt for your blood.
Me - i’m gonna wander off the radar and continue to search for a gentle companion who may teach me how to curb the rage in my faint heart. I refuse to hate, but find the temptation around every corner and within each scroll. I will know i am making headway when i find in my path gaggles of handsome young maidens asking me for my time in their bedrolls to teach them the arcane, but not entirely lost art of love - they will then demand from me that i show to history my graphic appreciation of their lithe loving persons with the rapidly fading vision i have, but with which each measure of deficiency gains a small measure of existential finesse i could not have found under any other condition.
jts 07/10/2020
http://stoanartst.blogspot.com
reprinted with permission - all rights reserved
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