Paid the last rent for where i live and it was returned to me as deposit the next instant, minus the Wifi and water bill. Now i sit in an existential no-man’s-land between the conjunction of Saturn and Jupiter, the dawning of the age of Aquarius, xmas and the much anticipated changing of the guard, with #45 getting passed over for promotion by Barack’s faithful sidekick, Joe from Kokomo. What hasn’t changed is the reigns of power of the perfidy of a seemingly invulnerable corporate hegemony protected by electrical pulses of a v+/- 5v tether attached to nearly every human wrist on the planet, one way or the other, “The Harder They Come, The Harder They Fall” - Bob Marley · These corporate goons are so fucking lazy they can’t even attend to the business at hand and so have developed a George Jetson 'gofor' in the guise of AI (Artificial Intelligence), which if it’s any thing like their “artificial cheese,” ain’t shit.
And sadly much like the avowed grandiose purpose of this chronicle of extinction to burrow into the core of our civilized delusions about surviving, i keep returning to my own preoccupation with those motes i find in the eyes of others, but shy from the deepest motes of my own behavior. I see those fuckers more clearly with each passing day, but balk at exposing myself to the facile criticism which others wish to gild onto my abundant flaws - when i need your help, i’ll beat it out of you . .. Some sentences back i broke; into the chronicle of some days ago, for it is now xmas eve day(i think), which in former periods of my life was fraught with much spiritual confusion - (like yesterday) · kidding, sort of. The profound sadness of yesterday was much deeper than the occurrence of another hokum holiday; it was a melange of changing domiciles and parting ways with loving, and unloving friends - even at my advanced age, i’m not always sure which is which; but then i can’t say for sure how many fingers you’re holding up 3 feet away.
When i was 19 year’s old i seized employment in a Veterinary Hospital in NYC - it was heaven, though amongst other things i was tasked with carrying the carcasses of euthanized big dogs to the waiting, well-rewarded garbage truck under the watchful gaze of the vet - a kindly, however flinty soul. I augmented this nominal income, as a scholarship custodian at the Art Students League of NYC which paid my tuition to the school - like i said, it was heaven, until a model from the school, Esther Organik, the first lesbian model to break my heart convinced me my prospects for creative growth were greater driving Horse Cabs in Central Park; so i then persuaded Pierre of Pierre’s Falafel to pay me scratch for preparing Falafel Sandwiches out of the back of his Subaru Pickup in front of Hunter’s College while i interned for the Hansom Cab driver until my hack license arrived. It was during this internship when Pierre’s son handed me a copy of Frank Herbert’s “Dune” and said “read this.” As an adherent of “Lord of the Rings” marking every unobserved wall with the elf rune “G” for Gandalf, i was hooked on “Dune” within pages.
55 years later in my soggy solitary existential surrender under the covers on the 23rd, “no name day” - a stellar David Lynch version of that book came up on youtube, and i was enthralled · taken back to all the spiritual coincidences the author anticipated about the world we live in, and must yet find a way to prevail. The movie experience bolstered me in ways that i couldn’t have sought out through company, through affiliation, substance or family consolation. It was the idea of decency over decadence no different than the $600 insult of a bone the ruling class has tossed to my struggling brethren - it may well have read, ‘let them eat cake’. The difference is that the fiction of “Dune” was produced when it was still allowed for the victors to be worthy, rather than just “stinking fucking rich.” Searching now the “master” googol index for the letters “P K author” the ruling class robot refused to return a logical answer for P.K. Dick author - 1,2,3, levels deep, though i used a practical limiter “words.” Could that have anything to do with the quote i was looking for? “The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use those words.” - PK Dick
Today is xmas eve day - i’d have sworn that occurred yesterday · and so woke up thinking it was xmas morning. there is a great deal unsettled in my life, having given notice the day before yesterday that i would be leaving my home of the past 6 months, only to feel strongly unwelcome in the room i’d determined could as Lao Tzu recommends a domicile to be, “suitable.” The rain has relented, such that i could actually ride - that helped, but still i live in a house that is dank (think sponge walls); i have learned i do not enjoy dank. But when i tried to arrange keys to move, i was asked to make an appointment to discuss the terms; and once again the fault is my own. I’ve also found i need to live somewhere in which communication with the property owner is more direct and less convoluted (something which may not happen in this, the other land of the “inscrutables”). I would rather live tenuously in the shell of a house of an older wiser design with the possibility of slow renovation than in the model of modern living propagated by the voracious avarice that is being “socially engineered” by the oh-so-hooked-up cheese @ fb whose dubious ethos contributed to the commutation of corporate murderer’s sentences by a gangster calling himself the “leader of the free world. Sadly, i fear my ‘slow-growth’ thinking stymies the quick profit conceits of the up-and-coming-however-myopic bourgeoisie. all power to the people
jts 22/12/2020,23/12/2020,24/12/2020
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